Hmmm. Drums fingers. I'm really beginning to wonder why ANYONE would ever choose to live in this country. I have 45 children (more fool me) coming to a 'Garden Party' on Sunday at our house. Now, this should all be quite simple. Blow up the paddling pools. Throw in some coloured plastic balls. Peg down the waterslide. Get the water pistols out. Throw down some rugs for the picnic tea. Play a few team games and Bob's Your Uncle. Everyone has a great time. Not too stressful.
You would have thought it would be safe to plan something like this for the middle of July, wouldn't you? It's not like I'm perversely trying to pull this one off in April, May or even June. No. It's July. But hey. This is England. The temperature flickered at 12.5 degrees celsius yesterday. A chill wind blew and made it feel even colder. The tomato plants shuddered, the cucumbers said 'You've got to be joking', the slugs ate the broccoli.
There is absolutely no doubt about it that if you live somewhere that manages to be warm and sunny in the summer (not too much to ask, I wouldn't have thought), then life is so much easier. You don't have to spend your whole time making decisions: if it's sunny we'll do this; but if it's rainy we'll do the other. Constant provision making for bad weather. It's absolutely exhausting. I've just wasted 2 hours of my time going over to a friend's house to pick up a pair af gazebos (thank you friend), JUST IN CASE it rains. Given I've now got them and wasted that time, it probably won't. Just like umbrellas. I've been checking the forecast and it changes every five minutes, but at least it's moved from Heavy Rain (all day) to Light Rain. And I hear you all cry - 'Oh it doesn't matter, the kids will have a great time even in the rain.' Yeah well, all fine and dandy if it's at least summer temperatures, but I can tell you right now, it is pretty grim up here when it's raining, windy and 12 degrees. And the temperatures are looking low. 18 at best.
Anyway, me sweethearts, that's enough moaning. I have party bags to fill, shopping to do, kids to collect and ferry around for the next 3 hours - oh, and the sun's just come out! Shame I have to be driving around again. When will I EVER just get to sit in a deckchair in the sunshine in my own garden on a proper summer's day? I know, when I'm 80...
On that merry thought, I shall bid you a fond farewell. Please offer up a prayer or two for me. And if you don't hear from me again on this blog, it's because I have committed hari kari (again).
Happy Weekends y'all.