Why do we live in England?

Hmmm. Drums fingers. I'm really beginning to wonder why ANYONE would ever choose to live in this country. I have 45 children (more fool me) coming to a 'Garden Party' on Sunday at our house. Now, this should all be quite simple. Blow up the paddling pools. Throw in some coloured plastic balls. Peg down the waterslide. Get the water pistols out. Throw down some rugs for the picnic tea. Play a few team games and Bob's Your Uncle. Everyone has a great time. Not too stressful.

You would have thought it would be safe to plan something like this for the middle of July, wouldn't you? It's not like I'm perversely trying to pull this one off in April, May or even June. No. It's July. But hey. This is England. The temperature flickered at 12.5 degrees celsius yesterday. A chill wind blew and made it feel even colder. The tomato plants shuddered, the cucumbers said 'You've got to be joking', the slugs ate the broccoli.

There is absolutely no doubt about it that if you live somewhere that manages to be warm and sunny in the summer (not too much to ask, I wouldn't have thought), then life is so much easier. You don't have to spend your whole time making decisions: if it's sunny we'll do this; but if it's rainy we'll do the other. Constant provision making for bad weather. It's absolutely exhausting. I've just wasted 2 hours of my time going over to a friend's house to pick up a pair af gazebos (thank you friend), JUST IN CASE it rains. Given I've now got them and wasted that time, it probably won't. Just like umbrellas. I've been checking the forecast and it changes every five minutes, but at least it's moved from Heavy Rain (all day) to Light Rain. And I hear you all cry - 'Oh it doesn't matter, the kids will have a great time even in the rain.' Yeah well, all fine and dandy if it's at least summer temperatures, but I can tell you right now, it is pretty grim up here when it's raining, windy and 12 degrees. And the temperatures are looking low. 18 at best.

Anyway, me sweethearts, that's enough moaning. I have party bags to fill, shopping to do, kids to collect and ferry around for the next 3 hours - oh, and the sun's just come out! Shame I have to be driving around again. When will I EVER just get to sit in a deckchair in the sunshine in my own garden on a proper summer's day? I know, when I'm 80...

On that merry thought, I shall bid you a fond farewell. Please offer up a prayer or two for me. And if you don't hear from me again on this blog, it's because I have committed hari kari (again).

Happy Weekends y'all.

Comments

maddie said…
But just think, if it weren't for the rain, the view from your high peak would be parched and brown instead of that lush green colour. On the positive side, if you just leave the paddling pool out, you probably won't need to fill it up with water. Have a pac-a-mac party instead.
Lindsay said…
Very good luck! At one of my son's parties a kid threw spaghetti over the walls - yuck - that was the last party we gave!
Kirsty said…
Forget England - come and live in Scotland! Ok, the weather is no better, but the landscapes (and the people) are!
Frances said…
How well you write! I can just see you setting up Plans A, B, C etc. for the festivities.

This has also been a very strange summer, weather-wise over here. We have had record-breaking amounts of rain, and the temps stay very cool. This has also played havoc with lots of plans, since we colonials are used to being able to more or less rely on weather forecasts.

Anyhow, have fund with the children! xo
I will be keeping my fingers crossed for you! Looks as if tomorrow is ok here so hope you get some sunshine and yes, yes, yes, why can't it be hot and sunny and reliable!
Kimberly said…
ohh, I hope it goes ok for you. It is a lot of work, but what a great Mum you are!!! I also hope you can 'steal away' more moments in your garden. Can't wait to hear how it goes. You have a great sense of humor too. :)
Cait O'Connor said…
I've everything crossed for you that the day will be dry tomorrow. I'm sure the kids won't mind either way they will have fun.
mountainear said…
Do hope the weather is kind to you. I can think of nowhere better to live than this country with its changing seasons - each bringing its own delights. But the unpredictability of what should be summer is hard, hard work.

I'm sure sod's law comes into play. I can remember summer holidays when the rain started as the children came out of school in July and stopped as they went back in September. honest.
Maggie Christie said…
I so hope it doesn't rain. I've always regretted having winter babies which means no outdoor birthday parties for us. Having read this blog I'm not quite so full of regret. Have fun!
Gone Back South said…
45??? 45??? Crikey, you are one awesome woman. When we left Macclesfield to move back down south we threw a party for both my kids' classes together and it was totally insane. Good fun though!

And p.s. Don't think you're being unreasonable complaining about the weather there, after living in the NW for 8 years (ish) I have to say it seriously is very very wet and cloudy there compared to down here!
Carah Boden said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Carah Boden said…
MG - you are so right!
Lindsay - yep, I'd have cancelled them after that too!
Kirsty - ooh, controversial!
Frances - yes, I gather NY has not been having a good summer either: boring for you but vaguely reassuring for me i.e we are not alone!
EM, SC, Cait, Mountaineer - thank you!
PM - one of ours is a winter baby - 6th Jan but both the others July and August - hence we feel only fair to throw a big party for all three in the summer!
AW - YES, YES and YES! With grandparents still firmly ensconced in Sussex, I KNOW how much better the weather is down there!! Really does rub it in a bit when they say 'We're just having a drink on the terrace...' as I huddle up next to the Aga and listen to the rain lashing the windows AGAIN...! You did the right thing...
Pondside said…
Well..........did it rain all day? Was it cold? Don't leave us hanging. Did the kids have fun?
Next year you might want to get a tent, just in case!
Anonymous said…
I couldn't live anywhere else but I know what you mean. I'm thinking of planning a ladies party but there's no way I can rely on the weather so it'll have to be done in the house. It's only the lucky ones who have bbq's and marquees without rain or clouds.

Hope you had a good time nonetheless.

CJ xx

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